Bombay Nights

Here is a simple equation for you:

[D1+D2+D3 x Gordon Bombay]+[Adam Banks-Charlie Conway]=Awesome

The Mighty Ducks thrillogy kicked so much ass, it left the theatre looking like a skid mark. Now, every now and then I will be having a pint somewhere, or stealing condoms from the walk-in clinic, and some asshole will come up to me and say, "Hey! The Mighty Ducks was an AWFUL MOVIE!!!" This scenario happens to me at least once a week, and I have to lay these dunderheaded morons out with a whole lot of truth.

Here are some facts about the making of the trilogy:

1) Emilio Estevez beat out Charlton Heston, Chuck Norris, and Tony Danza for the role of Gordon Bombay

2) Emilio Estevez was paid a Hollywood record of 15 million dollars for his role in the first movie, a record he shattered when Disney paid him 25 million for the second movie. He agreed to appear in the 3rd movie 'pro bono' as long as then president Bill Clinton signed a bill increasing the minimum wage, proving that Emilio Estevez is an 'everyman'.

3) Vincent LaRusso, who played the role of Adam Banks was actually genetically engineered for the movie. Disney took sperm from Luc Robitallie, Cam Neely, Chris Chelios, and grew him in a petrie dish. Although originally named 'Luc Neelios' Disney renamed him Vincent and had him adopted by a family who lived by the studio lot. Robitaillie, Neely, and Chelios were given cameos in the the sequel for their efforts.

4) During a test screening of D2 parents complained that a close-up shot of Chris Chelios' nose was too graphic. Rather than risk an "R" rating, Disney cut the shot and instead got a "PG" rating.

5) The Fulton Reed character is based on late NHL tough guy John Kordic. In a bizarre twist of fate, Elden Henson, the actor who portrayed the character was also badly beaten by Montreal police while on drugs. When asked about the incident Henson replied, "They we're just angry because I tried to eat them, but hey! That's what happens on a cocaine high!" John Kordic could not be reached for comment, as he is dead.

6) In the original script, the Charlie Conway character was written for a girl. This is why Joshua Jackson cries throughout the entire trilogy.

7) The role of Wolf "The Dentist" Stansson was played by Carsten Norgaard, but only as a second choice. Director Sam Weisman actually was in talks with NHL veteran Esa Tikkanen, until it was noticed that nobody could understand him, and he is also illiterate.