Sidney Crosby Injured In Phoenix

The Penguins fell 4-1 to the Phoenix Coyotes Thursday night, but as the 'Guins left Jobbing.com arena the loss was the furthest thing from the teams mind.

Sidney Crosby left the game late in the second period with an undisclosed injury.

Following Crosby's departure from the game Pittsburgh was badly outplayed, allowing 3 goals in his absence.

While the team is playing the specifics of the injury close to their chests, and replays of the Sid the Kid on the ice were blurry as to the cause of the discomfort, there was no doubt what was wrong in the mind of Rex Harcord, a Phoenix season ticket holder.

"Yeah, I saw it!!! He's got a herniated disc in his cock!!!" Harcord disclosed while handing out high fives to the fans in his section.

Crosby will be a game time decision Saturday when Pittsburgh rolls into Scottrade Center in St. Louis.

Ron Wilson and Rocky Wirtz Can Go To Hell

Two weeks after Ron Wilson declared that, 'wins and losses don't matter' this season for the Toronto Maple Leafs, the coach has decided to keep 18 year old Luke Schenn in the starting line up instead of sending him back to junior for a year. When asked if Schenn might play for Team Canada at the upcoming World Junior Tournament Wilson poo-pooed the idea, 'If he's playing in the best league in the world, why would we have him go play in a teenage tournament'.

Now if Mr. Wilson and his coaching staff have already put this season on the shelf, why are they willing to burn a year of Schenn's entry level deal? Why wouldn't he want the young defenceman play in the World Juniors either? It would seem that he feels that the tourney isn't competitive enough, meanwhile, most of these hockey players haven't heard the phrase, 'wins and losses don't matter' since they were playing Tim-Bits hockey in Dildo, Newfoundland.

In other hockey news, new Chicago Blackhawks owner, Rocky Wirtz, fired head coach and hall of famer Denis Savard just 4 games into the season. It took a lot of balls to fire a man who scored 1096 points in a Hawks uniform, and absolutley no class to do it after his first win of the season.

Next on the agenda for Rocky Wirtz? Sources close to the owner say that Rocky plans to burn down Steve Larmer's house, right after he takes a shit in Stan Mikita's helmet.

Woah, That's Radical...

Do you remember that song by The New Radicals called, 'You Only Get What You Give'? It's the video where they go around a mall hassling squares, being the voice of that days youth... fuck that song/video makes me wanna puke. Why did it even come into my head... I'm bored.

'How Bizarre' by O.M.C. now that song kicks your ass until there is blood in your stool... fuck yeah...

Male Stripper

If I were a stripper, I would totally call myself 'Geyser Söze' and my act would be awesome. I'd come out on stage with a severe limp (because my dong is so huge) and then once I pulled it out I would be able to strut down the catwalk comfortably.

According to strippername.com my name would be, 'Beau Boldbone' which I think is pretty awesome too.